Journal

Are our partners a solution, or simply a mirror?

A morning conversation with Yonatan turns into a reminder of what our partners are really reflecting back to us.

Couple sharing an emotional healing session together at Word of Mouth in West Hollywood

Laying in bed this week, I hear Yonatan on the phone with a friend…

“We have to view our partners as a mirror, not the solution, not the thing that’s going to fix us, but rather a reflection when there is work to be done.”

Mic drop.

I’m laying here trying to open my eyes and make my way to the kitchen for a cup of coffee, and Yonatan is already dropping some absolutely powerful relationship truths.

As I hear him say it, it struck a chord in the pit of my stomach.

Mirrors

It is so incredibly easy to start to offload our work and responsibility onto our partner. We say things like:

“IF you would just…”

“When you change ____ then I’ll finally ____.”

“IF they only….”

Certainly, our partners have room to change and grow as much as we do, but it will never be our responsibility to create that change for them. Our job is to find the change that is needed within us, even if it’s just 5% and especially when it’s 95%, and to work on that.

As we turn the attention inward and begin to reflect on what we can be responsible for in a moment of frustration or an irritating pattern, we become accountable. It shifts the energy of our relationships. We’re no longer navigating through them with an energy of expectation, and we stop acting as a victim to our circumstances.


So, on this holiday week, I’ll leave you with this:

What mirror are your relationships holding up to you?


Share your thoughts with us at hello@wordofmouth.love.

Big love,
Jaime

If This Resonates

Ready to look in the mirror together?

Our couples coaching sessions give you and your partner a real space to turn inward, together.

More From the Journal

Other reflections from Jaime & Yonatan

What if Nothing Is Wrong With You?

A reflection on self-acceptance, from ten years of coaching people through change.

Read the reflection

The Nature of Coopetition

On competition, cooperation, and the abundance that lets both exist at once.

Read the reflection

A Celebration of the Magic in the Mundane

A New Year prayer for the small, ordinary moments that are quietly holy.

Read the reflection

The Only Correct Answer to Most of My Biggest Questions

On why “it depends” is the most honest answer there is.

Read the reflection